The most beautiful gift you could ever receive is…

Assalaamu’alaykum,

I delivered a training session this week inside of Breaking Barriers (our sisters group coaching programme) on how sabr is the gateway to resilience. 

We loosely translate sabr as patience and when we picture it in action, we imagine gritted teeth, silent endurance, waiting, tolerating, and simply “getting through” something difficult.

But as we explored together, sabr is something far deeper and more powerful than that. It’s so much more alive and expansive than the word “patience” could ever contain.

Sabr is a multidimensional state that shows up across many different moments and experiences in life.

It can look like endurance, sustaining effort over a long period of time, such as fasting on a long hot summer day, or continuing to work on yourself even when the progress feels slow.

It can look like forbearance, choosing silence even when the retaliatory comment is sitting on the tip of your tongue. Choosing to restrain your tongue, your reactions, and your limbs.

Sabr is also steadfastness, remaining firm upon truth without wavering under pressure. Holding onto your faith and values in spaces that challenge you and pull you in the opposite direction.

And there are so many more everyday realities that invite you to engage your sabr. In fact, I’m sure you’ll agree that your “patience is tested” multiple times in just one day.

But each of these expressions of sabr is not passive. Sabr is not allowing people to oppress you. It is not silence in the face of injustice, neither is it sweeping things under the carpet and pretending they don’t exist.

Sabr is the strategic, mindful, Allah-conscious choice to respond from your highest self, rather than your triggered, reactive lower self.

It is rising above your impulses and choosing, in that moment, between your fitrah and your nafs.

And that takes immense strength. It requires awareness, restraint, wisdom and daily practice.

Inside of Breaking Barriers, we broke down the concept of sabr into its foundational parts, explored the great role models of the past who embodied this quality so beautifully and reflected on the heart-soothing reality of sabr to the extent that it can completely transform how you view your difficulties.

We also explored practical ways to begin embodying this incredible gift from Allah in our everyday lives, not just as a concept we admire but as a lived state we consciously practise and return to.

I'd like to share with you today three reflections that can completely transform how you look at sabr and one practical way to begin cultivating more of this beautiful Prophetic quality within yourself:

1. Allah is with the people of sabr

Allah says: “O believers! Seek comfort in patience and prayer. Allah is truly with those who are patient.” [2:153]

Allah is with the patient. With them, present and close. Just imagine that. 

The Arabic word used here is ma’a, which carries a deep sense of closeness and togetherness.

Every test you face is not just a hardship to “get through.” It is an invitation. An invitation into one of the greatest forms of closeness with Allah.

SubhanAllah, in the moments where you feel stretched, emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted, or tested… those very moments are actually the doorway through which Allah is inviting you to draw so near to Him.

2. Sabr is not a burden. It is a treasure.

Sometimes, we associate Sabr negatively, almost as a burden because it usually arrives alongside hardship. But we are going to talk about it as a treasure.

The Prophet (saw) completely reframed that understanding for us.

He said: "No one has ever been given a gift better and more comprehensive than patience." [Bukhari]

The best gift. The most comprehensive gift. Not money. Not health. Not even knowledge.

Who is the One describing this gift? Your Lord. Your Creator. The One who knows you better than you know yourself. 

And He is telling you that sabr is the greatest thing a human being can ever be given. Take a moment to process that. 

Next time you're in the middle of a great test, bring the focus to what's being placed in your hands, to what you're being invited to carry...the greatest gift! Bring your attention and focus to immense beauty held within that reality.

3. With sabr comes three gifts at once.

In Surah Al-Baqarah, Allah describes the people who respond to calamity with:

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon

“Indeed, we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.”

Then Allah says that upon these people are:

• His blessings

• His mercy

• And guidance

Three gifts in one ayah.

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits but give glad tidings to the patient. Those who, when disaster strikes them, say: Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return. They are the ones who will receive Allah’s blessings and mercy. And it is they who are ˹rightly˺ guided. (2:155-157)

SubhanAllah. The test itself becomes a means through which Allah pours blessings, mercy and guidance into a person’s life.

One practical way to build greater sabr in everyday life:

One of the ways we can actively cultivate sabr is by building endurance within the body.

Our beloved Prophet (saw) walked long distances. He fasted regularly. He stood in Qiyam al-Layl for hours until his blessed feet would swell.

And research is now confirming what he modelled for us, that physical endurance builds mental and emotional resilience. When you train your body to sit with discomfort, through exercise, fasting, long walks, physical discipline, you train your nervous system to tolerate hardship with greater steadiness and composure.

Practical suggestions: Take longer walks and include periods of brisk walking, be consistent with Monday and Thursday fasting if you are able and move your body regularly in ways that stretch your comfort zone.

It will change how you handle your trials.

Before I sign off, I promised last week that I would select and share a couple of reflections from your responses to my email, Lessons From a Broken Tree.

Alhamdulilah, I enjoyed reading through your reflections. It’s beautiful how Allah can open hearts to wisdom through ordinary parts of nature, when we slow down enough to observe and reflect. 

(I have also received a few messages from people saying their replies didn’t go through and that they received a bounce-back email. If that happened to you, please forward the error message to [email protected] so we can look into resolving the issue, InshaAllah). 

Here are two of the reflections that were selected to share: 

Fathimath shared:

Every single plant in my garden inspires me to remember Allah’s qadr and appreciate His mighty creations.

When it comes to winter, I watch the plants obey their Creator and pause. I witness them being patient when they are left bare and exposed. They inspire me to take my death as one of them during winter times, give in and put all my trust in Allah. It teaches me to be humble, it is only a matter of a small change in our lives that could take a U-turn.

When spring comes, it reminds me of resurrection. The way flowers bloom and fruit-bearing plants grow makes me think of Jannah. Some plants that couldn’t survive in the harsh weather remind me of nothing but the losers who couldn’t make it to Jannah. Sub’hanAllah. Plants during the months of spring give me hope, ease after hardship, calm after the storm, and most importantly, tawakkul and not giving up.

Munaza shared:

Allah is Al-Waasi’ (The All-Encompassing, The All-Sufficient, The One beyond any limits).

When, in the darkness, we are lost, blinded, suffocated, alarmed, tripping on hazards, His dhikr and remembrance become noor, hope, oxygen, and remedy from injuries on ground level for us. He is Al-Waasi’, the One with the most holistic vantage point from an immeasurable height and distance, unlimited by language. He has the bird’s-eye view in human terms, hence the coverage of the creation and its affairs is holistic, zoomed out for Him, yet zoomed in simultaneously. Is there any creation which can zoom out and in every nanosecond simultaneously?

Then His mercy covers the paradoxical immeasurableness and becomes all-encompassing when He knows one is falling, but sends them a ray of light at just that moment to illuminate that darkness and widen our insight from that experience just a little bit more, so that we truly rise from that fall.

SubhanAllah, that tree says a lot. One’s most ugly, dark, hollow parts can produce bright green leaves on long, wide branches that stretch out, providing shade, fruit, homes for birds, and the bare minimum oxygen! This justifies trials for me. Growth and results happen when one is put under pressure, uses all resources, and feels like surviving, but for Allah SWT, it’s thriving. We gain so much in the process.

As He is Al-Waasi’ and Al-Batin, He can see His servant’s brokenness and drainedness that no X-ray or MRI can see, and the countless leaves that shed and grow are the countless rewards He compensates with, the countless smiles the servant experiences after pain is replaced by peace, the wisdom and aha moments, the sins He expiates, and the strength and purity He grants to the batin of the believer, a register He maintains for every breath taken while believing in Him, while the pests of shaytaan and nafs al-ammarah did all they could to make that servant disbelieve, yet He continues protecting our iman as Al-Muhaymin.

May Allah reward them both for their beautiful and deeply reflective insights. Ameen!

Reflection of the Week

Think about a difficulty you are currently facing.

What might shift within you if, instead of only seeing the hardship itself, you recognised it as an invitation from Allah into closeness, growth, guidance and the cultivation of one of the greatest gifts He gives His servants: sabr?

Dua of the Week

رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَتَوَفَّنَا مُسْلِمِينَ

Rabbanaa afrigh ‘alaynaa sabran wa tawaffanaa muslimeen.

“Our Lord, pour upon us patience and let us die as Muslims [in submission to You].”

(Surah Al-A‘raf 7:126)

Allah's name of the Week

As-Saboor (The Most Patient, The One who is never hasty)

Ya Saboor, help us respond to life’s tests with steadiness, wisdom and trust in You. Grant us the ability to pause before reacting, to remain grounded when emotions rise and to embody beautiful sabr in ways that draw us nearer to You. Let our hardships become a means of purification, growth and deeper closeness to You.

Aameen, ya rabbal aalameen.