A personal moment I hadn’t planned to share

Assalaamu’alaykum,

I thought many times before sharing this, as I wanted to be clear about my intentions. But subhanAllah, the reaction I had from the few I shared it with was enough motivation to make a sincere duaa that this inspires anyone who needs to hear it.

One of my biggest intentions is to pray Tahajjud every day but I’m nowhere close to that goal yet.

Sometimes I find myself in a great routine but when my evening rhythm goes out of sync, Tahajjud is usually the casualty. May Allah forgive and guide us all.

Lately, I’ve been working behind the scenes on a big project (you’ll hear more about it soon inshaAllah!). As a result, I’ve been working into the evenings a little longer than usual.

We live in seasons and I recognise that this one requires these few extra hours but only for this week! I definitely couldn’t and wouldn’t want to sustain it.

A few nights ago, I woke from my sleep and looked at the time, it was 3:30am. I thought, SubhanAllah, this is the perfect time for Tahajjud, but I was exhausted and couldn’t find my way out of bed :(

The next night, I woke up again at exactly 3:30am. I looked at the clock in disbelief. My first thought was Tahajjud, but again, I felt too tired to move.

But this played on my mind all day. That night, before going to bed, I had a conversation with Allah, that went something like this...

“My Rabb, I know You’ve been waking me these past nights because You want to unlock my duaas. You are so Kind and Merciful. If You wake me again, I will get up and pray Tahajjud.”

Bear in mind, there was no alarm set on any of those nights. In my mind’s eye, it was as though a bunch of keys were jingling right in front of me, waiting to be grabbed to unlock my duaas.

SubhanAllah, that third night with no alarm, by Allah’s mercy, I woke again at 3:30am. I jumped out of bed and sat on my prayer mat for half an hour, pouring my soul out to Allah. It was deeply personal, there were tears and in that sacred moment, it felt like no barrier existed between me and my Rabb. My soul felt emptied out and my heart felt so full, Alhamdulilah.

The next morning, before I even went downstairs for breakfast, I began to see answers to my duaas unfolding, SubhanAllah! Not in the way I expected but in ways that were unmistakably deliberate and connected and it continued throughout the day and beyond.

I share this because the conversations we have with Allah are real.

They fill you up in ways that no treasure of this dunya ever can.

Surrendering your struggles, hopes and dreams to Allah in those sacred conversations, especially at Tahajjud, is one of the greatest comforts we can reach for in calm or stormy times, no matter what we have or don’t have.

And He always responds.
Sometimes in subtle ways you only notice later and sometimes it’s like the loud jingling of keys, nudging you toward a door that’s waiting to open.

If you’re not in the habit of speaking to Allah, try these three steps:

1. Imagine Allah SWT as your closest friend... but One who is the Kindest, Most Caring, Most Compassionate, Most Loving, and Most invested in your life. The One who always wants what’s best for you and loves to hear from you at any time, in any state.
2. Speak to Him (SWT) throughout the day... don’t limit your conversations with Allah to your prayer mat. Speak to Him when you’re walking, working, cooking, driving or even sitting quietly with others. Build the habit of keeping Allah close through your words, your thoughts and your inner dialogue with Him.
3. Before you sleep, speak to Allah again... tell Him about your day, your struggles, your gratitude, your hopes. Then make a firm intention to continue that conversation at Tahajjud time and make duaa that He wakes you for it.

May Allah forgive all our shortcomings and guide us to the Siraatul Mustaqeem.
Ameen ya Rabb. 

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Reflection of the Week

What would you share with Allah if you spoke to Him right now?
Take a moment to pause, breathe and empty your heart to Him. Speak to Him SWT freely, like you would to a friend. 

Dua of the Week

"O Allah, make me among those who stand in prayer at night and draw close to You in the last part of it. Grant me the sweetness of intimate conversation with You and the joy of being near to You. Forgive me for what I have done and what I have delayed, truly, You are the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.”