I thought I was serving Allah… until my body forced me to stop

Assalaamu’alaykum, 

For many years, I lived as a chronic people-pleaser.

On the outside, it looked like kindness, khidmah (service to others) and being the “good Muslim” who always shows up. But underneath, I was exhausted. I burned out repeatedly, disconnected from myself and ignored the signs my own body and soul were giving me. I thought I was acting from sincerity but if I'm being completely honest, so much of it was driven by fear... the fear of disappointing others, fear of conflict, fear of not being enough.

At one point, someone even told me, “You’re the type who’d give your right limb to someone.” At the time, I took it as a compliment.
I didn’t realise I was building my worth on how others perceived me. My body eventually forced me to stop and that became my wake-up call.

I had to face a difficult truth:

This wasn’t (entirely) servitude to Allah.
It was a form of self-betrayal.

Of course, intentions are rarely black and white and we ask Allah to accept whatever sincerity was present. But that moment opened my eyes to what people-pleasing really is.
It isn’t kindness. It’s fear dressed up as goodness. It’s living with a mirror at your core instead of standing on the solid ground of who Allah created you to be.

So I want to ask you:

Where do you say “yes” when your heart knows it should say “no”?
What emotions arise when you acknowledge that?
And what might life feel like if you began showing up from authenticity instead of fear?

If this resonates, here are three simple steps you can begin working on today:

1. Practise the pause.
   Before saying yes out of habit, take a breath. Ask yourself: Is this from fear or from faith? That tiny gap creates clarity.
2. Reconnect with your body.
   Notice the tightening, heaviness or discomfort that comes when you override your own needs. Your body often speaks before your mind catches up. Yes, be in service to others and push yourself when needed, but not repeatedly at the expense of your health. Your body also has a right over you.
3. Honour one small boundary this week.
   It doesn’t have to be big. Even one truthful “I’m not able to do that right now” helps rebuild internal strength and integrity.

Because the opposite of people-pleasing isn’t selfishness.

It’s truthfulness, presence and living for Allah instead of living for approval.

Reflection of the Week

Where in my life have I been abandoning myself for the comfort, approval or expectations of others?
What would an Allah-centred, truthful response look like instead?

Dua of the Week

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ كَلِمَةَ الحَقِّ فِي الرِّضَا وَالْغَضَبِ

Allahumma innī as’aluka kalimata al-ḥaqqi fi ar-riḍā wa al-ghaḍab

O Allah, I ask You for a word of truth in times of contentment and in times of anger.

Allah's name of the Week

Al-Haqq (The Absolute Truth)

Ya Al-Haqq, anchor my heart in what is real, help me stand upon the truth You have made firm and allow my actions to rise from sincerity, not fear.