What one ayah taught me about struggle and self compassion

Assalaamu’alaykum,

During a recent Qur’an lesson, we spent time discussing an ayah from Surah Al-Balad and I've been contemplating over this ayah since: 

لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ فِي كَبَدٍ

“Indeed, We have created the human being in hardship.” (Qur’an 90:4)

I've been reflecting over the word Kabad (كَبَد), which is often translated as hardship or constant struggle.

Some scholars explain it broadly as the hardship of life in this dunya. Others go further and say it includes something more subtle and internal.

The struggle to remain grateful in times of ease.
The effort it takes to stay patient when life becomes tight and testing.

In other words, by design, this very fleeting path we are on will always include both external pressures and inner strains, each appearing in different forms and varying degrees of intensity.

To experience this is very human and very real.

Sometimes hardship is seen in our external surroundings. Finding yourself in circumstances you never chose. Being in environments that drain you. Being surrounded by people whose behaviour is toxic or misaligned. Ongoing tension, conflict or carrying responsibilities that feel heavy and relentless. 

And sometimes the struggle is more subtle and felt within.

Finding it hard to access gratitude when life is going well.
Or feeling patience wear thin after asking Allah for the same thing again and again, with no visible outcome.

When I heard this ayah explained, it made me look at our condition as a whole with compassion, not complacency.

That distinction matters.

This isn’t about excusing ourselves from effort. And it’s not about lowering our standards or giving up. It’s about understanding the very nature we’ve been created with. Allah is telling us clearly that this state of Kabad is not a personal failure. It is part of the human condition and soul's journey.

And how we respond to it is what counts.

Kabad, in Arabic, refers to hardship, struggle and deep exertion. Emotional. Spiritual. Mental. Physical. Life will carry weight. There will be resistance. There will be moments where ease feels far away.

This is not a flaw in you.

And it is not a weakness in your faith.

It is part of how we were created and part of how Allah distinguishes sincerity, resilience and truth within the human being.

Simply recognising that doesn’t remove the struggle and it doesn’t remove the need to keep turning back to Allah. But it can ease the harsh self-judgement that often makes the struggle heavier than it needs to be.

And it’s usually within this very state that the heart can spiritually strengthen. 

For example, sometimes the heart clings to a desired outcome so tightly that waiting feels almost unbearable.

You make duaa again and again.
You wake up hoping today will be the day.
Some days it feels manageable.
Other days there’s a sinking weight that makes it hard to move. 

But here’s the reminder we often forget...The waiting itself is an opportunity for worship.

Every moment you choose not to lose hope in Allah.

Every day you keep turning back to Him, even when it feels hard.

Your rank is being raised, even if you can’t see it yet, inshaAllah.

That deep desire you carry was not random. If it lives in your heart and spills out in duaa, it’s because Allah placed it there. And He would never invite you to raise your hands to Him for something with no wisdom or without an answer that is ultimately best for you.

Every hour you choose trust over despair, every day you refuse to let go of Allah, something unseen is happening. Even if the answer hasn’t arrived yet, something within you is being refined and perhaps something in His Garden is being built for you, SubhanAllah! 

This is worship in motion.

Today, I pray Allah grants you what you’ve been asking for in the most beautiful timing. And if the waiting continues, may He reward you for every breath of patience, every tear of trust and every moment you held onto Him when it would have been easier to let go. Ameen ya Rabb.

Reflection of the Week

Where in my life am I currently experiencing Kabad?
Is it showing up externally, internally or both, and how might Allah be inviting me to respond with greater trust rather than self-judgement?

Dua of the Week

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلِ الْحَيَاةَ زِيَادَةً لِي فِي كُلِّ خَيْرٍ، وَاجْعَلِ الْمَوْتَ رَاحَةً لِي مِنْ كُلِّ شَرٍّ

Allahumma’j‘alil-ḥayāta ziyādatan lī fī kulli khayr, waj‘alil-mawta rāḥatan lī min kulli sharr.

O Allah, make life an increase for me in every good and make death a relief for me from every harm.

(Sahih Muslim)

Allah's name of the Week

As-Saboor (The Most Patient, The Perfectly Enduring)

Ya As-Saboor, You are not rushed and You are never careless with timing. Help my heart mirror patience in moments of difficulty. Anchor me when waiting feels unbearable and allow me to trust that every delay is held within Your perfect wisdom and mercy.