When complaints become a way of life

Assalaamu’alaykum, 

During a group coaching session yesterday, we were discussing how easily our thoughts can spiral into complaints without us noticing.

One small complaint turns into a constant murmur in the background… and slowly, that inner noise becomes our way of seeing the world.

It’s subtle. We start seeing things and people as a burden.

The gym. A walk. An interaction. Cooking. Cleaning. Hosting.

Anything that feels like work becomes something we have to suffer through.

But is it really suffering… or is it just our interpretation?

If we keep repeating the same negative thoughts, they carve out mental pathways.

Over time, that mindset settles in. We don’t just think negatively, we start living that way.

We speak in complaint.

We carry frustration in our bodies.

We become difficult to live with, even for ourselves.

Without saying the words, we can easily see ourselves as victims.

Victims of our life, circumstances and others.

But change is very much within our reach.

A conscious shift in language can change your entire experience… sometimes in an instant!

“I have to go for a walk” becomes:

“I get to move. I have a body that works.”

“This house is a mess” becomes:

“I’m grateful I have a home to care for.”

“They never care for me” becomes:

“I’m learning to communicate my needs and value my own care.”

Small reframes, but they lift the heaviness off. They return you to presence.

Because the moment we stop viewing everything through a negative filter, we open the door to gratitude and barakah.

This week, I invite you to try this:

• Notice when a complaint creeps in. Don’t judge it, just observe.
• Try reframing it in a way that honours the blessing underneath.
• Speak the new thought out loud. Let your body hear it.

There’s light and liberation in what can seem hard and difficult, sometimes it’s just hidden in the way we speak.

Reflection of the Week

What’s one area of your life that you’ve been viewing as a burden lately?

Take a moment to pause, reframe it and ask: What’s the hidden blessing here?

Dua of the Week

أَنِّي مَسَّنِيَ الضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ 

Dua of Prophet Ayub (A.S.):
‘Indeed, distress has befallen me, and You are the Most Merciful of the merciful.’
(Al Anbiya, 83)